Here are a couple of charts on the progress of a dating relationship. The first shows what many relationships today look like. The second shows what they could look like if some radical couples dared to defy the madness and swim against the culture. Do you hope to enter a dating relationship, are you in one already or do you know some people who may need your wisdom and advise one of these days? Then read on!
THE WAY IT IS…
|Attraction||0-7 days||Get access to the other person, assess her reaction & if she’s interested||Physical attraction to the other person||Figure out how to get them to like me enought to want to go on a date with me|
|Seduction||1 day – 2 months||Seduce the other person, test the waters to see where this thing could go…||Going out on a date||Spend money/time on/with the other person and turn them on them so they want to take it to the next level*|
|Passion||2-12 months||SEX||Sensing the other person is ready to go to the next level||Physical involvement leading to regular sexual involvement**. At this point, we’re officially ‘dating’.|
|Cohabitation||Infinite||Cut bills, assess suitability for marriage||Practical considerations||Move in together. This could happen sooner if the couple is older. At this stage, seeing another person would be considered cheating***|
*This is only if you like the person, otherwise sex could happen on day one with no future commitment aka ‘chips funga’
**Don’t hold out for too long or the other person may lose interest
***Note, nobody overtly defines anything. At each stage, our physical involvement is what defines where we are in the relationship
THE WAY IT’S MEANT TO BE…
|Acquaintance||1-3 months||Seeking wisdom and counsel||Attraction to the other person||Prayer, find out what you can about the other person , get wisdom from close friends & mentors about your interest|
|Friendship||3-6 months||Build our friendship in a group setting||Expression of interest||Join the other person’s Life Group and become friends with their friends|
|Courtship||6-8 months||Explore whether God wants us to get married||Define the relationship||Meet a couple of times exclusively each week in addition to social times in the group. Serve together. Grow by reading together. Meet their family members informally. Have an accountability couple|
|Engagement||6 months||Prepare for marriage||Proposal||Discuss important marriage issues. Pray regularly together. Do Ndoa*. Prepare for the wedding.|
Is this practical! Can it work in this day and age? I sincerely believe so, regardless of what Hollywood has indoctrinated us with over the years! If you haven’t already, please check out the Finder’s Keepers series by clicking the following links… 1. Be The One 2. Deal Breakers 3. Buyer’s Remorse 4. Friends With Benefits? Or you can purchase the DVD set at Mavuno Church.
*Ndoa is a 10 week course offered by Mavuno church to help couples build a strong foundation for their marriage. For more info, contact email@example.com