You Were Made For More!

It was a few months to the KCPE exams. The obligatory family prayers were organized to solicit divine assistance for the beloved candidate. At some point during the event, the grizzled, wise grandpa pulled aside the young student for a chat. He asked him what he was planning to do after he passed his exams. The bright, young boy answered without hesitation, ‘I want to get accepted into a prestigious national school’.

grandpa‘And then what?’ asked grandpa. ‘Well, then I’ll work hard in high school, pass all my exams and go to a prestigious college for a business degree. After that I’ll start a business and make a lot of money!’

Undeterred, grandpa asked again; ‘and then what?’ ‘Well, I’ll buy a good house, drive a brand new German car and get married to a beautiful lady. We’ll have three children, and we’ll take them to the best schools so that they can also be successful’.

As more gathered to listen in on the conversation, grandpa asked yet again, ‘and then what?’ ‘Hmmm, and then I’ll make a lot of money and become very famous. I’ll win many awards and recognitions. I’ll be on TV all the time. And then my wife and I will retire, play golf every day and see the world. Once in a while, we’ll visit our children and their families and they can also visit us in our big house when we’re old’

With a twinkle in his eye, grandpa persisted, ‘and then what?’ ‘What else is there to do?’ the flustered boy asked. ‘We’ll grow old together with my wife and one day we’ll die!’

‘And then what?’, asked grandpa smiling gently. This time the young man scratched his head and was silent. He really didn’t have an answer.

createdThe old man’s point of course was that there is more to life than being born, making money, having a family and then dying. As an old preacher said, ‘we were not just created to be hatched, matched and dispatched’! There is much more to life – there is a God-designed purpose in each of us that we were created for.

Your passions, personality, abilities and experiences, both good and bad, are clues about what you are uniquely gifted to accomplish. Your purpose is not just to make you comfortable but to impact others and to leave this world a better place than you found it.

As Paul of Tarsus wrote almost 2000 years ago, ‘we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago’ (Ephesians 2:10)

So by all means, be ambitious. Excel at what you do. Aim for the stars! But in the process, don’t loose sight of the fact that your life is not a random accident. There’s a unique role you were created for. And you owe it to yourself to discover what it is.


Trusting In God’s Silence

abandonedI recently spent some time encouraging a friend who has felt extremely abandoned by God in a very tough time for his business. In the process, I shared some of my own difficult experiences from the tough year that 2014 has been. I was thinking about that when I came across a story by psychologist and author Larry Crabb, describing the faith of his 79 year old dad.

Larry was driving him home after his dad had spent two weeks admitted in hospital recuperating from open-heart surgery. Lying in the backseat, his dad broke the silence by saying, ‘You know, I had many visitors during my difficult hospital stay, and I appreciated every one. But the one visitor I most wanted to come never showed up’.

‘Who?’ Larry asked? ‘God!’ his dad answered. ‘I prayed every day that I would feel his presence. I never did. And I’m so grateful!’

When Larry prodded further for what he meant, he answered, ‘God counted me worth to trust what he said in his word in the absence of His felt presence in my experience. And His Spirit enabled me to do just that, not without struggle of course. But I never turned away from Him. I think that made Him really happy.’

I’m not sure I would respond that way to the challenges I face! Which makes me think that much of my faith, like that of many today, is based a lot on experiencing God’s favor and goodness. It’s based on loving and following God for what He can do for me.

But that’s not true faith! True faith never values experience in God above hope in God. As Hebrews 11 says, ‘faith is being sure of what we hope for, being certain of what we cannot see’.


12th century mystic, Bernard of Clairvaux (who began the Benedictine order of monks) talked about the four levels of love…

1. Loving myself for my sake – the ‘normal’ human condition
2. Loving God for my sake – when I ‘discover’ God and follow Him to make me happy
3. Loving God for God’s sake – when I begin to understand how much God has forgiven and loved me and stop feeling like He owes me
4. Loving myself for God’s sake – when everything in my life (joys & sorrows) becomes an eagerly received opportunity to bring Him pleasure by trusting in His goodness and leaning on His word, with my one goal being to delight Him.

Are you in a tough spot? Don’t allow your pain to lead you to give up on God. Instead hold on in trust to Him, and let the pain, anger, disappointment or fear fan the realization of your need and hunger for Him. See it as an opportunity to grow deeper in your love for God.

Lord, please help me to move from loving You for my sake to loving myself for Your sake. AMEN.

Why Marriage May Not Be For You!

After 20 years of marriage, I’m convinced that marriage isn’t for me! Before you jump to conclusions, please read on.

weddingBack in the day, finding a spouse was not a complex proposition. Your folks shortlisted the suitable candidates and chose the one who’s family was most complimentary to theirs. Complex terms like love and personal choice were not part of the equation! But in our very different world, many people struggle with the question of how to locate the One. “What if I end up with someone who makes me miserable?” The result? Commitment phobic people who are mortally afraid of entering marriage because of the misery they fear it might cause them. And subsequently after marriage when the going gets tough, many end up convinced that their unhappiness is because they made a mistake and married the wrong person!

Recently, I read an article by author Seth Adam Smith who made the same discovery I made when I faced the same fears, years ago. His commitment-phobia came to a head as he was planning his engagement to his high school sweetheart and best friend. Was he ready? Was this the right person to marry? Would she make him happy?

wedding 2In his confusion, he decided to confide in his dad about his fears. His dad’s response floored him. Instead of empathizing with him, he told him that he was being totally selfish because marriage was not for him. “You don’t marry to make yourself happy; you marry to make someone else happy. More than that, your marriage isn’t for yourself, you’re marrying for a family. Not just for the in-laws and all of that nonsense, but for your future children. Who do you want to help you raise them? Who do you want to influence them? Marriage isn’t for you. It’s not about you. Marriage is about the person you married.”

Seth’s blog post received 2 million views in 36 hours and when I last looked, that had jumped to 24 million. As countercultural as his message was in our culture today, it evidently struck a cord. You can read his original article here.

wedding 3One of the biggest problems in our lives today is caused by our expectation that the people around us are there to make us happy. Life is after all, the pursuit of happiness. Whether it’s our spouse, our friends, our boss, or our workmates, we only want to hang out only with people who contribute to our personal bliss. But this is a selfish extractive approach that is based on not on what I give to others but on what I can get from them. It turns us into net consumers and not net contributors.

So the next time you find yourself wondering if you married the right person, turn the question round and ask ‘how can I be the right person for the person I married?’

Escaping The Debt Trap

repossessionThe grim faced men stormed past our front door and up the stairs. I heard them knocking loudly. After a few minutes, they descended again, this time carrying household items; fridge, TV, microwave and sofa sets. ‘I didn’t know our upstairs neighbors were moving!’ I remarked to my next-door neighbor. ‘I don’t think they are’, he replied. ‘Those are not movers, they’re auctioneers!’

Being repossessed or otherwise harassed because of failure to pay a debt is one of the most humiliating experiences you can ever go through! Many people discover too late that debt is often a path not to quick wealth but to humiliation and poverty. Debt is also one of the surest ways the enemy uses to destroy people’s  purpose and destiny today!

So what if you’re already heavily in debt? How can you escape the debt trap?

gazelleThe richest man of his time once gave this advice to people in debt – “Free yourself like a gazelle from the hand of the hunter” (Proverbs 6:5). This is not a cute little metaphor! When a gazelle catches wind of a predator, it takes off with all its might. . Even a cheetah, the fastest animal in the world, has a kill rate of only 5% when it comes to gazelles. Is it because the gazelle is faster? No! It’s because it is focused. The lesson from King Solomon is that you’ll only escape the debt trap if you have gazelle-like intensity!

In my book ‘Financial Fitness’, I explain the following four steps to get out of debt. STEP ONE is to take a deep hard look inside to discover what led to your situation. Constant indebtedness is often a symptom of underlying fear, pride, or a get-rich-quick mentality.  You need to be able to face the truth and ask God’s help to think and act differently. You need to ‘be transformed by the renewing of your mind’ (Romans 12:2). This may also mean forgiving others who may have let you down. True repentance may mean cutting up your credit cards and making a commitment; ‘I will never borrow again’. As the saying goes, if you find yourself in a hole, the first thing you want to do is stop digging! Then ask God for wisdom to build wealth the right way (see James 1:5)

pay debtSTEP TWO is to create a survivor budget, which includes only absolute necessities; basic food, shelter, utilities, clothing and transport. You may need to sell your furniture or car, move back to your parent’s home or cheaper house, or look for a second job. I know it sounds crazy but when you’re on a cheetah’s breakfast menu, only gazelle-focused intensity will save you!

Remember, if all the Joneses (the cool looking broke people) still think you’re cool, you’re probably not focused enough. You have to get passionate about it. Your destiny is at stake… This is war!

no debtSTEP THREE is to make a plan to pay off all your creditors, starting with the smallest debt first. Paying off the smallest first creates quick wins, which increases your motivation. Plan to negotiate with the rest of your creditors to make a minimum payment on each of your debts except the smallest. Every extra shilling you can squeeze from your survival budget goes towards the smallest debt until it’s paid. Once done, turn attention to the next smallest one and then the next. Every time you pay off one, the amount available for payments gets larger and your momentum increases.

STEP FOUR is talk to all your creditors. Show them that you have a plan and intend to pay something each month until you do. The worst thing you can do is go quiet on them. Ask God to help them see your sincerity and extend grace to you.

All this is certainly not easy and it may take several months or even years, but the result is freedom to start again. So are you ready to start? Remember, it will take gazelle-like focus and intensity to escape the debt trap!

God and debt

This weekend, catch Pst Oscar at Mavuno Church as he continues with the counter-cultural and transformative series, ‘The Four Horsemen Of Financial Ruin’

Dangers Of Debt

credit cardsShe was excited when her friend told her about the opportunity to start a ‘side-hassle’. It seemed such a sure thing! So she applied for a bank loan and invested it all in the business. That was six months ago. Today, she’s full of regrets. The business proved to be a lot more work than she had been led to believe and has picked up very slowly. Worse still, her company is going through an unexpected financial crunch and she’s not been paid for the last two months. She even ended up borrowing from a loan shark just to pay last month’s rent. And she’s terrified at the thought of what will happen if this month’s salary doesn’t come through on time!

Welcome to the realities behind ‘easy credit’!

Some people get into debt because of reasons beyond their control; a major illness or accident, or somebody died and they inherited a debt. But most people get there because they don’t know any better! The conventional wisdom today is that debt is leverage: That it’s normal to live in debt and that you will never succeed unless you borrow; whether it’s to start a business, buy shares, pay school fees or pay for some new dresses from the lady who comes round at the office.

debt1Even though the good book doesn’t call debt a sin, it repeatedly points out the dangers of debt. Debt is enslaving. As the richest man of his time, King Solomon, wrote in the book of Proverbs, ‘The rich rule over the poor and the borrower is a servant to the lender’. Once you borrow, the lender literally ‘owns’ you! Their actions affect your mental health and how well you sleep. For example, when banks revise their interest rates upwards, you might get a note in the mail informing you about the new rate. But they certainly won’t ask what you think about it!

Debt is also expensive. Again, Solomon counsels, ‘Do not be a person who strikes hands in pledge or puts up security for debts; if you lack the means to pay, your very bed will be snatched from under you’. When you’re in debt, the principle of compound interest works against you and you end up paying far more for the things you buy than if you saved up and paid for them.

debt burden 2And as our friend found out, debt is presumptuous. It’s based on the assumption that we can control our ability to pay in the future. Solomon warned, ‘Do not boast about tomorrow for you do not know what a day may bring forth’.

Ultimately, easy access to credit can promote a culture of consumption rather than a culture of savings. It can destroy the ability to learn to live and invest within our means. Paradoxically, that’s an almost sure path not to quick wealth but to poverty!

This week, Pst Oscar continues the awesome series at Mavuno Church – The 4 Horsemen Of Financial Ruin.

Things I Wish I’d Known About Money

A couple of weeks ago, I had the opportunity to give a talk about managing money to a group of mainly young adults going through the Mizizi experience. As I answered their different questions, I realized once again how poorly our education system trains us to manage this critical resource!  And I reflected on some of the things I wish I knew about money when I graduated from college.

money1Critical lesson numero uno: it’s not how much you earn that counts but how much you save. The work of a job is not to make you wealthy! It only provides the raw material for growing and multiplying wealth i.e. your salary. It is what you do with the salary you earn from your job that determines if you will grow wealthy or remain poor! The book of Proverbs (6:6) tells us that even with their little brains, ants are smart enough to put aside food for to ensure they survive future droughts. Years of observation have convinced me that it’s not the people who get big salaries that attain financial security but it is those who learn to live within their means, save something every month and invest when opportunities present themselves!

financial wisdomSpeaking of opportunities, number two critical lesson is regularly increase your financial wisdom. This comes through reading books about money management as well as spending time with and asking the right questions to wise investors. The truth is that money flows from the well salaried to the wise.  I have gained amazing insights and opportunities by spending time with people wiser than myself. Here again, the book of Proverbs has something to benefit us when it challenges us to ‘get wisdom at any cost’ and counsels us that wisdom is better than silver or gold (I know, you thought Bob Marley came up with that, didn’t you!).


A third important lesson is understand the dangers of debt. It’s all the rage nowadays to borrow money, whether it’s to fund your business startup or to buy new furniture. But the wisdom of the Proverbs warns us that ‘the borrower is a slave to the lender’. I’ve found that for most of us, the easy availability of credit short-circuits the development of creativity and patience, as well as wisdom gained from slow growth. Coupled with which the Swahili saying ‘kukopa harusi, kulipa matanga’ (to borrow is like a wedding, to pay back like a funeral) is extremely true!

Lesson number four is live for more than money. Money is simply a tool. At the end of the day, the reason you want more is so you can have time to enjoy peace, health and good relationships with the ones you love. What the good book refers to as ‘shalom’. Never sacrifice your relationship with your loved ones because of the pursuit of money. That’s putting the cart before the horse!

familySo every Sunday this month, Pst Oscar Muriu of Nairobi Chapel is speaking at Mavuno Church about ‘The Four Horsemen Of Financial Ruin’. You owe it to yourself to be there!

Celebrating Fathers

commercialism2I’m not always sure I know what to do with the different imported holidays that have become fixtures on our calendar. Valentines Day, Mothers Day, Fathers Day and so on have gained such prominence you’d almost think they were national public holidays! Even Chinese New Year and Halloween have seem to have gained their small (and markedly elite) groups of followers here! All these are clearly indicators of the globalized world we live in. They are also great opportunities for retailers to create demand for goods we don’t really need!

All that said though, I do believe if any of these holidays would be a good candidate for global public holidays, Father’s Day would be it. Celebrated widely on the third Sunday of June, it was first declared a public holiday in the US by president Woodrow Wilson in 1972, 58 years after Mothers day became a public holiday. Clearly, fathers don’t have the same sentimental appeal that mothers do!

In today’s world, men are often seen as the villain – and it is certainly the case that men are often the cause of great pain in the lives of their spouses and children. When I visit our various prisons, I find that most inmates had a poor or no relationship with a father figure. Abusive, passive or absent fathers are the cause of much societal destruction in our nation.

father's loveWhich is all the more reason we must celebrate those men who are doing their best to be good husbands and fathers! It’s much more effective to applaud good deeds and examples than to bile about or simply ignore the bad ones. Because it’s true that you get what you celebrate. Let’s celebrate even those who haven’t done as well for whatever little they did right!

It’s not easy to be a dad in today’s world. Most men have few examples of what good fatherhood should look like. My friend, pastor Simon Mbevi, runs a class called ‘Man Enough’ that teaches men their role in family and society. I’m always amazed at how valuable the experience is to the many who take it.

fatherAnd so here’s to all those fathers out there who are working hard to provide for their children. Here’s to all the baby daddies who at least make an effort to visit their children regularly. Here’s to the single fathers who have chosen to faithfully bring up their children (I know quite a few remarkable ones!) Here’s to those men who are seeking to develop a relationship with their kids even though they didn’t have one with their own fathers. Here’s to those guys who take their kids to church because they want them to grow up with good morals. Here’s to those who are passionate to see their kids have what they didn’t have when they were growing up.

To all those fathers out there, I say to you, Happy Fathers Day!

father's day